Rulz For Da Boys ???

[stingger]

Although not "politicaly correct" still
funny [img]wink.gif[/img]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note - these are all numbered "1" on purpose.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in any argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Captain Cook did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such subjects as football, Holden vs. Ford or VB vs. Fosters

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep in the kennel tonight, but did you know men don't mind that. It's like camping.

[Branflakes]

Heh, I'd seen this before (and I agree, shopping is not a sport).

[stingger]

I dis-agree for me shopping is a sport, food shopping that is.....its like a kinda roller ball sport [img]smile.gif[/img]

"Food reduction stickers going on...Stinggers coming through on isle 1 going at trolley ramming speed."

There is an art to it, ie positioning trolley to cover section you've not checked yet whilst you check section your on....its a dog eat dog world in the super market.....and you don't want to be there when I'm cornering at 80mph thinking "Johnathan,Johnathon" [img]smile.gif[/img]

would I broad side a trolley to get the last 10p lettice ??? "Hell Yeah" [img]wink.gif[/img]